Episode 1: Please allow me to introduce myself

https://anchor.fm/plentyofdatingadvice/embed/episodes/Please-allow-me-to-introduce-myself-e3kaag

Hello and welcome to the Plenty of Dating Advice podcast where we discuss all things related to dating, from apps to breakups and everything in between. I’m your host Teresa, and since this is our very first episode I’d like to talk about myself and what I’m doing here.

Firstly, I’d like to say that I’m not qualified to be giving dating advice; at least not qualified in any traditional sense. I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, nor am I a dating coach, but what I lack in education I make up for in experience. I’ve been using online dating since the early 2000s, back when the only options available to meet people online were sites like match.com, which was fine, but it was really geared towards people who wanted to settle down and get married almost immediately. The other options were places like Yahoo Personals. If you’re not old enough to remember Yahoo Personals, it was the early 2000s version of the Craigslist personals section. It was possibly even more sketchy. In a future episode we’ll be talking to a good friend of mine who met his wife on Yahoo Personals when they were in college, so we’ll get to hear all about the sketchiness of Yahoo Personals.

In addition to using online dating for years and following the evolution from AOL chat rooms, which was also a place people could meet each other, to current apps like Tinder and Bumble, I’ve also spent the last four years working for a dating website. Now I won’t tell you which one, because they’ll probably be super pissed about this podcast, sorry not sorry, but it’s given me valuable insight about how people approach dating, and online dating specifically.

So many people have these huge laundry lists for future partners. They want a tall, vegan Agnostic with a Masters Degree, someone who wants to settle down with 2.5 kids, a dog, a cat and a fish in the next three to five years. And it’s fine to have standards, obviously, but when you place so many barriers to meeting someone… you won’t meet anyone under six feet tall or won’t meet someone without an advanced degree… it’s so specific, and when you approach finding a partner with this sort of inflexible checklist, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

Dating sites give you the tools to meet someone, but the rest is up to old fashioned chemistry. Also free will and some dumb luck. But a dating app isn’t going to create your perfect match out of thin air. It’s not like Weird Science. John Hughes isn’t creating this individual for you.

Over the years I’ve met many people, been on many dates; some fantastic dates and some really, really awful dates, and I’ve learned what not to do with dating in general. The internet has given me romantic partners and many good friends, some of whom you’ll hear from in future episodes of this show, where we’ll talk about their experiences dating, both online and off, and hopefully bring some much-needed levity to discussions around dating because dating is supposed to be fun. It’s not supposed to be a chore. It’s not supposed to be something that crushes your soul. Meeting new people should be fun, even if you have crippling anxiety. I’m sure that you can meet someone else with crippling anxiety, and you can have crippling anxiety together. I did it, I’m sure you

Oh, and if you are too young to get the John Hughes reference from a minute ago, this might not be the place for you. It’s also not the place for you if you’re offended by cursing since I have a garbage mouth, or if you’re offended by discussions of sex and other adult topics. Or if you’re not into the idea that dating for its own sake can be fun and doesn’t always need to lead to marriage and babies. If however, it sounds like something you might be interested in, consider rating, reviewing and subscribing to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, or wherever you listen to podcasts; Stitcher, Spotify, etc. You can also find us on Twitter, Instagram, and we also have a blog where we’ll have show notes, links to things we talk about in episodes, and also, bonus content. I will have some friends and that have valuable experience and funny stories who may be a little bit more audio shy, who may not want to be recorded, who may just want to have written interviews. So if schadenfreude is your thing and you like to laugh at other peoples’ pain, I know I do, you can check out our blog. If you’re a WordPress user you can subscribe via WordPress and leave us comments, or you can sign up via email, and either way, you’ll be notified of every new post so you’ll never miss any of the goodness.

I really hope that you’ve enjoyed hanging out and hearing a little bit about what I plan to do with this podcast. I hope you’ll join me next week for my first interview, with my boyfriend Dan, which sounds lame but we met on the internet so it’s totally relevant. Thanks so much for listening and have a great day.

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